(Back up singers.. optional.. #dreamgirls)

HOW LONG UNTIL WE GET “THERE”..? Every parent has heard this many times.. EVERY NYC “subway”, taxi or otherwise” commuter.. feels this pang ..

UNCERTAINTY.. hurts.. IT GNAWS… IT CHURNS… IT… IS ALL ENCOMPASSING..

UNCERTAINTY TURNS TO EITHER FRUSTRATION OR FEAR..

ANGER COMES NEXT..

No lecture here.. no telling anyone to “suck it up”.. no TOXIC POSITIVITY ..

( no light at the end of the “station”…). I FEEL IT IN SPADES…

I have never had this much time .. it has brought a combination of GUILT.

( we Midwestern types are told “idle” time is the “devil’s workshop).. I have MANY projects going on … MANY ways to occupy my overthinking tendencies, which will turn to ANXIETY .. ( got “tools” for that, too..). My mind’s hand is on my emergency brake, and the other has a heavy object to smash the glass to get my mental “fire” extinguisher..

UNCERTAINTY takes a whole different level at certain points in ones life..

ENTER.. THE “CHANGE”…

Ok.. So I am “CHANGING”… ( MENOPAUSE..which is only a term which means

“Absence of MENSES”… GUILTY AS “ CHARGED”…( Western world discourages any warm, fuzzy feelings about that .. I can guarantee. J LO.. will NEVER say it.. it’s “OFF BRAND”…)

CHANGING.. again…. in the middle of a pandemic…

Of course I am … we all are…

Prioritizing HEALTH.. ( MY IMMUNE SYSTEM.. MUST NOT FAIL).. LEARNING..

(READING, WRITING… RUNNING).. I have life experience on my side .. I have SURVIVED MUCH.. I know what to do.. and I know “lost” is necessary to forge a new “path” out of anything … “LOST” is a gift that heightens our senses, deepens our resolve.. CREATES that CURIOSITY SOLVE , makes us LET GO of what is no longer working .. (inside we know.. what those “people, places and things” are.. I have survived LOSS.. I have FOUND… I can do this .. as many times as it TAKES..

THE “CHANGE” is FINALLY taking my relationships .. letting go of any

“Unbalanced” ones… ( I have nothing to prove.. if I do more for you than you do for me.. you are gone..). CONFIDENCE in what I DESERVE.. understanding NEEDS unfulfilled ACHE.. WANTS ( those things i don’t need..) HURT.. I can soothe the ACHE by SPEAKING UP.. avoid the HURT.. by exercising my

MATURITY ..

MY MATURITY POWERS THE “CHANGE”… I EMBRACE WHAT IS IMPORTANT..

I UNDERSTAND TIME “FLIES”.. I HAVE ACTIONABLE “ EMPATHY”…( I will work with you to SAVE yourself .. but you will not pull me under ..).

On the physical side .. RULES.. hold us back .. CHANGE THE NEED TO DEFINE THOSE..

I dress how I feel… I dance in the mirror .. ( no longer with a hairbrush with

“GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN..” blasting from my boombox). MY LIFE HAS A RICHER SOUNDTRACK.. pulling from all influences ..embracing MY “MUSIC”

(Off key .. is just a matter of opinion..)

There are a zillion face creams and RETINOLS.. Science has given us that gift ..

SUNCREEN AND SUNSHINE.. DO PAIR NICELY …

Eating what makes my body work well.. feels far better than feeding my emotions .. INTUITIVE EATING.. Simple concept ..WORKS..

STILLNESS IS A GIFT NOW.. not a punishment or guilty “pleasure”..

Balances my hormones .. SLEEP is “FUN”…. SLEEP ..IS HEALING.. ( that attitude is a REAL change)

HORMONE BALANCE IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN STUDY AND IMPLEMENT..

CHANGE WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW.. (trust me.. we are more complex than you know.. not as complicated as you think ..)

INTIMACY .. is a melting of minds .. not just a connection of the body..

Now..combine the two.. that’s THE MAGIC…

Or don’t .. CHANGING MEANS EXPANDING.. wrapping our minds around whatever a situation is.. IT IS.. and at times.. nothing more..

SEXUALITY is a part of LIFE.. DO NOT CHANGE THAT..

“HOW LONG UNTIL WE GET THERE”?

Well.. that CHANGES .. UNCERTAINTY is always in the background..

Acknowledge it “in the room”.. but dont next to it ..

AS WITH ALL OF LIFE .. WE WILL GET THERE .. JUST IN TIME..

TO EXPERIENCE THE JOURNEY.. ADD IT TO OUR LIFE MAP.. AND CHANGE COURSES..

BE YOUR OWN KIND OF “CHANGE”… (CHANGE IS THE CERTAIN IN ALL THE UNCERTAINTY)

That … and WEAR A MASK…

LETS CHANGE THIS PANDEMIC …

GOT MY THERAPIST ON SPEED DIAL.. THOUGHTS, STORIES, TOOLS, TWEAKS, TIPS,). WHAT’S WORKING.. WHAT’S NOT…. THANK YOU.. NEXT…🙄